Four Tips For Preventing And Managing Tantrums In Children

“Trassalderen” is one of the ages that is most feared by parents. After all, it’s the time when children get the most tantrums!

The most common forms of tantrums are screaming, crying, beating, refusing to obey and even opposing parental instructions. Many difficult behaviors occur at this stage and can certainly be a worrying train challenging for even the most patient parents.

Leaving the playground, going in or out of the bath, brushing teeth, getting dressed… Virtually any daily activity can trigger a tantrum!

It’s easy to lose your mind and react inappropriately if you do not understand what is happening. It is for this reason that we will explain why children have tantrums and what you can do to prevent them.

The stage where children get the most tantrums

Outbursts of anger are a normal and healthy part of children’s growth and are related to their cognitive and social development. Until this time, the child plays a passive role and lies large there and allows adults to meet all their needs. Furthermore, they have not yet been able to perceive themselves as independent beings, with their own desires and interests.

It all changes around 18 months of age. This is because the child becomes self-conscious and wants to express themselves and become autonomous.

They “know” exactly what they want, but have no control over their own lives. Besides, they do not have the tools to express themselves. Thus, they can not avoid having a tantrum in protest of not being able to satisfy their desires.

Tips to prevent tantrums in children

This phase can last until they are four years old, but each child is different. Their own personality and how their parents handle tantrums are crucial.

Keep reading for some guidelines to prevent them!

Avoid possible triggers

You may have noticed that your child is more likely to have tantrums when he is hungry, tired or overstimulated. So you can take some steps to prevent tantrums related to these.

First and foremost , try to establish a schedule and routine in your child’s life and stick to it. Try not to go over meals or bedtimes and adapt all other activities to these basic needs. Always have a snack in your bag in case the child gets hungry.

2. Notify in advance

It is normal that children do not want to leave an activity they find enjoyable when they are engrossed in it. This is why you need to let them know about five to ten minutes in advance before you want to leave the playground or have them sit at the table for dinner.

They may still refuse, but it will be easier for them to get used to the idea if you let them know in advance. They are fully capable of understanding this.

3. Be flexible

Many tantrums occur when adults try to impose their will. Remember that your child is beginning to define his character and wants autonomy. There is nothing wrong with giving them the freedom to decide a few things that concern them.

Give them at least several options to choose from within your boundaries. For example, let them decide which cup they want to drink milk for breakfast, which cartoon they prefer to watch and which sweater they want to wear.

Let them know that some decisions are not debatable, such as wearing a seat belt in the car or wearing clothes when going out. Just try to be as flexible as possible.

4. Validate your feelings

Outbursts of anger occur because children do not yet know how to handle and express their emotions adequately. For this reason, it is helpful to teach them emotional intelligence.

Recognize and validate your child’s feelings. Let them know that you understand how they feel and that they have a right to feel it. This way, they will be able to express their feelings and not have to express them by shouting at you.

Additional assessments of tantrums in children

The guidelines above can help prevent outbreaks of tantrums. But what should you do if they already have one?

Well, first of all, have control over your emotions and be especially careful about what you say.

Always remember that the child is not trying to humiliate you in public; they just fail to control their emotions. Choose empathy and be loving and patient, but make sure they do not hurt themselves or others with their actions.

Essentially, the key is to let them express themselves and lovingly be there for them when the drama is over.

Outbursts of rage can be a challenge

Outbursts of anger are difficult and challenging for parents, but children also experience frustration and lack of resources to express it. Adults’ job is to be loving and respectful. Thus being a positive example for the little ones.

Shouting or physical aggression will only create resentment and damage the child’s emotional bonds and emotional development. It provides no learning and will certainly not put an end to tantrums.

Practice empathy and try to treat your child the way you want to be treated.