Being A Single Mother: What Awaits You?

Being a single mother is not easy. However, it has been single mothers for a long time. These wonderful women are raising and educating their children alone or with little help. In fact, there are millions of single mothers who have raised happy and loving children who go on to become happy and loving adults.

Being a single mother

Motherhood is a wonderful part of being a woman. At the same time, however, it can be complicated. If you rely on help from your partner, it may be more bearable, but this is not always the case.

A toxic relationship is not the best example for children. There are many women who have decided to continue to be pregnant, despite the fact that they have ended the relationship with the child’s father.

There are also women who have been abandoned by irresponsible men.

Although being a single mother may not have been their original plans, and it did scare them, many women accepted the challenge with love and courage.

Another thing that has become more popular is that women resort to artificial insemination to become single mothers. They have been disappointed in their relationship, or they have not found the right person and their biological clock is ticking.

No matter what happens, the decision to be a single mom comes with its challenges and benefits.

The challenges of being a single mother

If you have decided to raise children alone, then you are now a single mother. The absence of a father should definitely not be a stigma for your children. There will be problems, but they can all be solved. You are definitely capable of raising healthy, loving and happy children.

Yes, it’s harder than if you had a partner, but it’s not impossible. The basic recommendations for being a single mother are:

Organize your support network

You are probably not completely alone.

Think about and find out who can support you through pregnancy, work and childcare. Your parents, siblings, cousins ​​or friends are your support network.

If your partner has ignored their responsibilities, try to avoid feeling desperate. Obviously, you want lots of people around you who are excited about becoming a mother, and they will be ready to support you as much as they can.

Some will be able to support you with complex tasks, others with simpler things, but every single support will make it all seem much easier.

As a single mom, you need to organize work, time and budget

All the expenses of raising a child will flow out of your account, so there is no room for improvisation. It is quite possible that you will be juggling the work of being a mother and taking care of your children.

You need to  make sure that your job is compatible with being responsible for children. You must be able to take them with you and pick them up from kindergarten or school, help them with their homework, take them to the doctor, etc.

Thus, your budget must take into account things like insurance , food, clothing, education, and of course recreation and fun days out.

You need to  organize your schedule without overwhelming yourself. You need to make sure you have and make enough time for both your responsibilities and having fun. And you must also have a lot of patience for when things do not happen the way you had hoped.

What you did not do today, you can do tomorrow.

Prepare for the big question as a single mom

Avoid feeling uncomfortable when someone asks you about the baby’s father. It does not make sense for you to be affected by this, or worse, for your child to become so.

If you have made the decision to choose artificial insemination, you must be able to talk about it naturally, in the same way that you want to reach a point where you have to tell the children where they came from.

If your partner left you or died, you need to  be able to talk about it without feeling overwhelmed. It will take time, but you will get to a point where you can talk about it without pain or anger.

Remember that there will be many times when you have to talk about the children’s father, even to your own children.

Avoid backbiting and guilt

If you had an unfortunate relationship with your child’s father, avoid feeling frustrated, angry, or resentful.

In particular, you must avoid blaming your children for the situation. They have no responsibility to you and are not the reason the relationship did not work.

Your children have a right to know where they came from, and you have a responsibility. You need to give them the most accurate and neutral information you can. Avoid giving your child a negative impression of their father. Although it may be difficult to remember, the father is responsible for 50% of the child’s life.

Let them know truthfully where they came from and make their own decisions. This is especially important if your baby was conceived using artificial insemination. Sooner or later, they will ask where Dad is.

Learn to forgive

It’s easy to say, but certainly not easy to actually  forgive an absent father. 

It is a process that takes time. You may say that you forgive them first, but it will take a long time afterwards before you actually do.

If your partner is dead, or if he has left you, you need to forgive not only him but also yourself. You can at any time begin to feel responsible for what has happened.

You decided to have a child with that person, and it was he who gave you this wonderful opportunity to be a mother. Forgive yourself.

In the same way that you must learn to forgive, you must help your child learn to forgive both you and their father. Forgiveness is a good expression of love, one that will bring you closer to your child, which is the most important thing.

Seek the support of a specialist

A super mom is not one who can do everything. A supermother is a mother who knows when to ask for extra help. If you need psychological help yourself or your children need it, do not hesitate to look for it.

Although there are many reasons why people may try to hide their dark feelings, it is not good for you or your children. Family therapy can help all of you understand and resolve your emotional challenges.

If you do not have the budget to pay for a service like this,  look for local support groups, social media groups or family counselors who can suggest social centers.

Finally…

Although you can never replace a father, give the best of yourself as a mother. To raise a child as a single mother, you must give double with love, patience, understanding and commitment.

It’s hard, but you can do it, and your children will thank you for it.